DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell: General Discussion #2

[M4dnessind4h34d]

Ever wanted to see a crackhead tweak? Note the chair shakes.

Holy shit. Like watching a time lapse of a "crack" high. Feeling good, to sudden fiend mode shaking for more.
-dsps dt's

 

[Big Brown Schlub]

I just remembered that the US is one of the cohosts of this year's FIFA World Cup, if his Superbowl begathons are this cynical and low effort I can't imagine how shitty his World Cup begathon will be.

 

[Vic Viper T301]

Just the general idea of it is baffling, because who is the target audience? If it's people who actually like football...well, they're going to be watching the superbowl, not Phil. So, that means anyone watching is probably uninterested in football so...they're not going to care/even recognize that the lighting is (supposed to) be the Seahawks or that Phil is wearing a Seattle jersey. For them, it's just a normal streaming day, and for the football people, it's the superbowl and they're not going to be on Twitch.

Even for like, the semi-interested crowd that just have the game on in the background...they're presumably going to want to talk about the game, which Phil obviously won't be able to do because he's streaming, and he'll just complain like he always does about people talking about something he doesn't know. Even though you'd think a superbowl stream would imply that the superbowl is an acceptable topic.

It's even more stupid than that. His marathon is today, Friday the 6th. The Superbowl is on Sunday. So the marathon has nothing to do with football, nothing to do with sports, Phil knows nothing about these things, and it's not on the same day. He also doesn't have Superbowl in the title, because he's afraid (legitimately, for once) of it being copyright claimed, but it's not even a reference like "the big game" or anything.

If you didn't know any better you'd probably assume this was a Valentines Day marathon where he plays dating sim games or something.

 

[Onepumpplumpchump]

I always hate the begathons the one today will be particularly bad though because it has to do with football and this retard does not even watch it or let alone know how the game even works. This is just an excuse to beg for money and drink on stream which he technically does already.

 

[Coke Zero]

"It will not be so special, I will change the RGB's to match the colours of seahawks, blue and yellow, (I googled it, it's blue, grey and green)

Did he really get the seahawks colors wrong again? Last week he said they were blue and red, got called out and then claimed he knew their real colors all along, so how does he still not know what colors they are?

 

[JohnRedcorn]

I love how he hyped up his football marathon, basically he said: "It will not be so special, I will change the RGB's to match the colours of seahawks, blue and yellow, (I googled it, it's blue, grey and green), I will wear different jerseys, I will drink at my own pace, I couldn't be bothered to dig up for 15 minutes in my closet to get the football helmet, please drop by to support and say hi if you don't have time to watch the entire marathon".

They actually just put the newest Madden on gamepass today too literally no reason for him not to play it.

Knowing Phil though he’ll sit there with his “American football” style RGB’s in his 20 year old football jersey and spend 45 minutes telling everyone why they don’t actually want to see him play Madden during a football themed marathon.

Then he’ll go play more sharks and minnows.

 

[Date Mike]

It really is incredible the lengths he will go to create nontent. Any random guy you pluck out of the average workspace will put more time and effort into celebrating football, but Phil thinks he deserves a wage because he sits in a chair while vaguely signalling his enjoyment of it. At least get the fucking football helmet out, man. What is going on with that closet that he can't shift a few things to get it? I can only guess that Kat's bloated, decomposing corpse has been stuffed in front of it.

I’m willing to bet everything I own that Phail couldn’t name 1 currently rostered Seahawk without using google.

 

[Pargon]

Just the general idea of it is baffling, because who is the target audience? If it's people who actually like football...well, they're going to be watching the superbowl, not Phil. So, that means anyone watching is probably uninterested in football so...they're not going to care/even recognize that the lighting is (supposed to) be the Seahawks or that Phil is wearing a Seattle jersey. For them, it's just a normal streaming day, and for the football people, it's the superbowl and they're not going to be on Twitch.

Even for like, the semi-interested crowd that just have the game on in the background...they're presumably going to want to talk about the game, which Phil obviously won't be able to do because he's streaming, and he'll just complain like he always does about people talking about something he doesn't know. Even though you'd think a superbowl stream would imply that the superbowl is an acceptable topic.

It’s literally the strategy big box stores use in America to justify “sales”, aka the temporary lowering of inflated prices on shit you don’t need. The Super Bowl is just as widely known (if not necessarily participated in) as Christmas and so therefore is one of the first post-Christmas events to use to remind people they need three bags of chips or some shit

Also much less fraught for him than doing a Valentine’s stream and having everyone constantly up his ass about his fat retard wife. He might do it anyway if he keeps slipping in goals I guess, but this is just “(cultural event with sufficient zeitgeist penetration) is happening, spend money” except the recipient is even more removed from the event than Kroger is

 

[Dr Pavel I'm CIA]

Then he’ll go play more sharks and minnows.

I wouldn't be surprised to see him bring out a NES or SNES NFL title, play it for 20min, rage at it and quit it.

He'll also avoid any romance game... On a valentine's day themed marathon.

 

[shekelshoah666]

I wouldn't be surprised to see him bring out a NES or SNES NFL title, play it for 20min, rage at it and quit it.

He'll also avoid any romance game... On a valentine's day themed marathon.

Don't worry man he is gonna potentially play DayZ, Marvel Cosmic Invasion, Bannerlord, Fears to Fathom, Iron Lung, Deadlock, Total Chaos, Pacific drive and many more! Of course only if they win many rounds of voting and he doesn't change his mind.

Perhaps the worst lineup of games to play for 30 minutes to an hour at most but DSP surely knows what he's doing!

 

[Fridge Raider]

You can screen-shot almost any frame of a DSP stream and capture a face of pure suffering.

Here is a screenshot of the world's saddest man being twirked to death by a chinese hooker:
Ver archivo adjunto 8522456

Dude I'm still laughing about this, this is so fucking funny.

Imagine whining that a game that gets $98 "Didn't even hit $100" while also claiming you don't base a game's success on arbitrary goals.

The difference between "we didn't even hit $100" and "we made almost $100 today" is remarkable. I'd say it's a glass half full type of deal but that's optimism and this is gratitude.

the Super Bowl one is the most bizarre to me

Idk, I think it's pretty in line with his attitude. It's literally all filler and key jangling (and begging ofc). He needs something to jangle in February, can't do Valentine's day. Not gonna celebrate Nigger Month. Plus he probs knows some of his dents like sports. Just need background to beg to, just like the games, everything else is to stretch into nontent.

 

[strandedcastaway]

There is still a detractor sub there called r/DSPGaming, but is tiny.
They are still redditors, but won't pearl clutch at calling Khet Burnell, who is a fat woman, fat.

I have to disagree on this. I know it's Reddit, but when there were anti-Phil Reddits still allowed, they tore into him the same way we do. That's why he worked hard to get each new one deleted. I always thought it was a good way to get more people into seeing what an asshole Phil is, but what do I know?

BTW, the comment above me that Phil sounds like "Kermit the Frog if he was an asshole" is on the fucking money.

 

[Twrx]

I want to see him fail at putting together a beer helmet again.

 

[Cucktry Roads]

Marvel Cosmic Invasion, Bannerlord, Fears to Fathom, Iron Lung, Deadlock, Total Chaos, Pacific drive and many more!

God, thats such an awful list. Bannerlord takes hours to get to anything interesting in the game. Deadlock takes dozens of hours to learn the basic mechanics. That'd be a record fast rage/wagequit.

---

. I know it's Reddit, but when there were anti-Phil Reddits still allowed, they tore into him the same way we do.

Expect more reddit drama in the next few months. If anyone hasn't heard, Livestreamfails banned political content, so people like Hasan and destiny who normally dominated the sub wont be allowed anymore, so people will switch over to dsp for those sweet, sweet imaginary points.

 

[An Monke]

Did he really get the seahawks colors wrong again? Last week he said they were blue and red, got called out and then claimed he knew their real colors all along, so how does he still not know what colors they are?

Tardski and Triple Phat theorized its because he never leaves the house anymore. Surely, in his however many years he has lived there, he would have seen Seahawks merch when out and about. It's all because he's a hermit bum that is afraid of the world. It lines up with him recently saying he only gets gas every month and a half.

 

[Vic Viper T301]

I wouldn't be surprised to see him bring out a NES or SNES NFL title, play it for 20min, rage at it and quit it.

Clearly, you haven't seen the disaster that was Phil playing Tecmo Bowl the last time he did this.

 

[Julia Chang]

Phil not knowing the colors to the Seahawks is absolutely baffling to me. If you've spent any time in Washington state (especially near Seattle) those colors are inescapable. If you walk around anywhere in public for any amount of time you see someone with some kind of Seahawks jersey or shirt or hat on. It's on bumper stickers. They sell the merch in grocery stores, there's billboard ads and signs everywhere, businesses are themed around the fucking team. Commercials frequently feature them. He's lived there for 10 years.

Phil is unobservant to the point of helplessness, but holy fuck.

 

[sarenghetto]

If he makes it past the tutorial and can put the “HUHHH?” moments aside, Deadlock has good trolling potential. The lowest of society are the only ones who still play that game. Doubt he will play it for more than 45 minutes and I’m being generous.

 

[QwahlityKahntent]

not giving a single shit about niggerball is one of the few based things about phil

 

[IFBB Pro Phil]

I'm always astounded how Phil's marathons somehow have less gameplay than one of his normal streaming days. Looking back at the last couple of years, he averages about 4 hours of gameplay put out per 10-11 hour marathon. That's usually divided over 4-6 games as well and includes installing the game, messing with the settings, going through the tutorials of each game, etc. It's absolutely absurd he calls this a "Gaming Marathon!" on his schedule. The bulk of it will be him sitting in dead air reading chat, occasionally drinking, eating doordash and rambling incessantly about MY HISTORY with THE SUPERBOWL!