💪 Tough Guys Patrick Sean Tomlinson / @stealthygeek / "Torque Wheeler" / @RealAutomanic / Kempesh / Padawan v2.5 - "Conservative" sci-fi author with TDS, armed "drunk with anger management issues" and terminated parental rights, actual tough guy, obese, paid Quasi, paid thousands to be repeatedly unbanned from Twitter

[AnOminous]

ADF once failed to stab a potato on video and I believe it got officially classified as a loss in a knife fight by the sanctioning body of Bum Fights. I don't think lolcows vs food are entirely off the table.

The perfect knife fight.

1:05

He has zero notion of what would impress accomplished adults. His only frame of reference for life envy seems to be fellow 11 year old faggots in detention.

He is the kind of nigga who showed up to elementary school with a butterfly knife, tried to do a fancy open, dropped it, and thought he was a hero in Double Dragon.

 

[AltisticRight]

I hope none of you forgot that Fatrick is an expert knife fighter, stalker childs, because he sure hasn't:
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It's the lucky ones who will enjoy prison, many stalker children are destined to fall before Patrick 'the blade' Tomlinson.

So how many innocent raccoons did he stab to death in these knife fights?

 

[smug comporon]

I don't know....we have plenty of evidence of negro children winning against Patrick
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They're lucky Pat let the store borrow his knife to cut his sandwich.

 

[Piggle Rick]

My bet is either his ex pulled a knife to protect herself during one of his drunken rages or he got a paper cut while reading a book.

This loser doesn’t read books. He just waits for Disney to make a movie about them. His “knife fights” are him versus meatloaf at Hoolies.

 

[April the Not-So-Hotwife]

Child, if you don’t watch out it will be YOU whom will be the one to be stabbed. It’s better for you to just give up now. Enjoy prison baby, stalker, child.

 

[King George III]

Hush sweetly, sweet baby stalker child.

I love how the six hour super-cut has re-invigorated the thread and got people to get creative with their childings. I will NOT hush, child, it is YOU who will hush your final hush. This is how you chose to die, enjoy hell.

 

[AnOminous]

No need for further reasoning, stalker, this is his actual definition of a knife fight, not the butter knife raping frenzy, stalker child.

Amazing how even his back is fat as fuck. And that was years ago. He's much fatter now.

 

[Poonocchio]

I heard Patrick choreographed Michael Jackson's Beat It video.

 

[The Taco Santo!]

Funnily enough, in the Bible there's a story of an evil king who was so fat that when he was stabbed, his flab swallowed the entire sword. I'm thinking something similar to that would happen if you stabbed Patrick.

Yeah, if you stab Pat in the gut, you're not getting that knife (or the hand holding it) back. You would be left effortlessly neutralized, waiting for Pat's police buddies to sweep in and arrest you for your many instances of felonious disbelief of Pat's stories.

 

[Divine right to rule]

This loser doesn’t read books. He just waits for Disney to make a movie about them. His “knife fights” are him versus meatloaf at Hoolies.

True, he is amazingly uneducated.
It makes him such an extremely ineffective narcissist, even random rednecks can smell out that he is full of shit.
He is too lazy to do even basic research before making wild claims.
The only sources he has are "a journo said so" and "I made it up and I am a special boy so it is real"

 

[The Taco Santo!]

My bet is either his ex pulled a knife to protect herself during one of his drunken rages or he got a paper cut while reading a book.

You make a compelling argument, but Patrick doesn't read books.

I believe that when Patrick eats niggers, their souls become his slaves. This is the supernatural source of his vile strength.

I bet his personal manifesto reads like a Zodiac letter.

 

[Gromit the Claymation Dog]

This is the knife fight he’s talking about, by the way. No need for further reasoning, stalker, this is his actual definition of a knife fight, not the butter knife raping frenzy, stalker child.
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Hush sweetly, sweet baby stalker child.

His back is a three layer cake of fat.

 

[Lei Wulong's Left Leg]

I heard Patrick choreographed Michael Jackson's Beat It video.

That's only half true, childe. In reality, patrick choreographed Weird Al Yankovic's parody titled "Eat It". Enjoy lunch.

 

[FinnSven]

I love that tactical folding knives are a thing because the only tactical use we had for them was opening MREs and cutting the label on a can of dip.

"Tactical folding knife" If Patrick here knew anything about fighting he'd know that those knives have a clear point of failure and should never be use in combat. You want a fixed short blade.

I concur as a collector of, not a fighter with, knives.

Many of the “tactical knives” people have tried to impress me with are folders, which wont stand up to an actual fighting situation, or some “zombie knife” bullshit with silly barbs and flaring, but their main point of failure is a tang which extends about two cm into the handle.

They snap even when whittling a tree branch.

 

[TurboNAS]

Many of the “tactical knives” people have tried to impress me with are folders, which wont stand up to an actual fighting situation, or some “zombie knife” bullshit with silly barbs and flaring, but their main point of failure is a tang which extends about two cm into the handle.

Look, I’ve been in dozens of knife fights and you don’t know what you’re talking about.

Everyone knows the guy with the fanciest knife wins. The more it resembles a Klingon sword, the better. You clearly lack honor.

 

[McMitch]

Klingon sword

It’s a “bat’leth,” thank you.

 

[break these cuffs]

... “zombie knife” bullshit with silly barbs and flaring, but their main point of failure is a tang which extends about two cm into the handle.

I saw a very retarded knife in Guns and Ammo shortly before we were headed to Cali to do our final training before a deploment. IIRC it was called something like the "Counter-Sniper Tactical Knife" or something retarded like that. "What a stupid piece of shit" I thought. A couple weeks later come to find out that not one, but two squad leaders in our platoon had bought that knife.

Thank God neither of them were mine.

 

[Sog Dog]

This is old but one of my favorite spelling mistakes. Nine instead of none.
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What's remarkable to me about this one is that he did it twice. I had to go back and count the list of allegations (there are seven, not nine) to make sure he wasn't attempting to be clever or something.

 

[The Secret Sauce]

What's remarkable to me about this one is that he did it twice. I had to go back and count the list of allegations (there are seven, not nine) to make sure he wasn't attempting to be clever or something.

2 of the allegations are double true.

 

[Bias Judge.]

From Xitter user @notanicepiece. Not fat enough, but I appreciate the effort.