Americans Are Having Less Sex Than Ever - Kiwi Farmers Unaffected

Americans Are Having Less Sex Than Ever​

Married, single, young, old—a new study says Americans are in a sex recession. Our columnist asked the experts how to end the drought.​

1756698874761.webp

By Elizabeth Bernstein

| Illustrations by Andrew B. Myers for WSJ
Aug. 30, 2025 8:00 am ET

Lost your mojo?

You’re not the only one.

Americans are having a record low amount of sex—even less than they did during the Covid-19 pandemic—according to a new study led by researchers at the Institute for Family Studies. This continues the downward shift in sexual activity that has been worrying sociologists and psychologists for decades.

For the report, called “The Sex Recession,” researchers at the IFS analyzed the data on sex and intimacy in the latest General Social Survey produced by NORC at the University of Chicago, which was collected in 2024 and released in May. They found that just 37% of people age 18-64 reported having sex at least once a week, down from 55% in 1990. The decline is even more striking for young adults: Almost a quarter of people age 18-29, or 24%, said they had not had sex in the past year; this is twice as many as in 2010.

Much has been written in recent years about the trend of young people having less sex, attributed to everything from stunted social skills to a rise in internet pornography. Yet the IFS study shows that the same trend holds true for people up to the age of 64, of all sexual orientations, both married and single. (After age 64, there was no significant change in the amount of sex people have, largely because this group reports having sex less frequently to begin with, the researchers said.)

There are a number of decadeslong trends at play, including declining marriage and cohabitation rates. (People who live with a romantic partner tend to have more sex.) We’ve also become so addicted to our screens that we’ve normalized the experience of staring at them rather than interacting with the person sitting next to us. “People are ‘bedrotting,’ ” says Brad Wilcox, director of the National Marriage Project at the University of Virginia and a senior fellow at the IFS, who co-wrote the study.

And now we appear to be having a moment: Although Americans had slightly more sex after the pandemic eased, current rates have dropped even lower than during the lockdown period, when fear and stress killed our libidos. The sex researchers and therapists I talked to believe we are in a postpostpandemic malaise: We’re struggling to rebuild our social lives, navigate a work-life balance and manage a growing sense of uncertainty about the world.

Let’s hear them out:

“We’re experiencing a long-term atrophy of the skills it takes to maintain relationships,” says Shadeen Francis, a sex and relationship therapist in Philadelphia.

“We’re in a heightened fight-or-flight response because of all the chaos,” says Lee Phillips, a sex therapist in New York.

“If you are exhausted and distracted, do you want to have sex tonight? NO!” says Justin Garcia, executive director of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University.

1756698949176.webp

While reporting this story, I talked to people who said that they were having less sex for all the age-old reasons: the exhaustion of parenting, relationship issues or age. But others had more of-the-moment reasons: Worries about the economy, stress about the news or an unhealthy attachment to their screens. (Netflix, Xbox and X all got blamed.)

One couple said they would rather catch up on their sleep than have sex. Several women cited worries about reproductive rights. Quite a few single people explained that they had stopped dating—and therefore having sex—because it was too expensive or disappointing.

“I definitely miss sex,” says Cameron Chapman, 41, a technology writer in rural Vermont who has decided that she’s happier being single. “But I don’t want to give up my independence and freedom for a relationship.”

Unekwu Yakubu, a 35-year-old biochemist in San Francisco, hasn’t had sex since her long-distance relationship ended a few years ago. She says she’d like to find a new boyfriend but is burned out on dating. It’s expensive. The apps are exhausting. And she finds potential matches to be pickier than before the pandemic, less eager to get up off the couch and meet in person.

So Yakubu has decided to focus on her career and social life for now—joining a book club, volunteering, and attending several in-person events a week, such as picnics or open-mic nights.

“These things have a more immediate and positive effect on my emotional well-being,” she says.

1756698970024.webp

We should be careful about letting our sex lives slide, therapists say. Sex makes us healthier—boosting our immune system, relieving stress, and helping us sleep. It connects us to our partner and makes us happier. It can even make us feel as if we have more meaning in life.

They’ve got advice: If you’re single and you would like a partner, focus on meeting people in real-life settings, hopefully doing something you love. If you have a partner, go to bed at the same time. Opportunity fuels action!

And, for heaven’s sake, put down your screen. “You want the first thing you touch when you get into bed to be your partner, not your phone,” says Michelle Drouin, a professor of psychology at Purdue University, Fort Wayne, who studies the intersection of relationships and technology.

Laurie Mintz, 65, says her libido tanked when she was going through a tough time recently, juggling a big work deadline and caring for sick family members. Typically, she and her husband of 40 years had sex every Sunday night, but she no longer felt motivated. “When Sunday came along, I just wanted to keep working or worrying,” she said.

Mintz, who lives in Gainesville, Fla., is a psychologist and sex therapist and knew what to do. She rearranged her schedule to be more efficient and started exercising every day, to relieve stress. She also made herself stop ruminating over things she can’t control.

Most important, she decided to prioritize sex again, telling herself that it’s just as important as everything else in her life. She recommitted to weekly dates with her husband—no skipping, no matter what.

“Sex is like going to the gym,” she says. “Sometimes you feel like you don’t want to do it, but you always feel better afterwards.”

Write to Elizabeth Bernstein at Elizabeth.Bernstein@wsj.com

Link. Archive.
 
Free Love started in the early 1970s as fringe behavior
‘Free love’ started in the 60’s with the hippies you daft twat. The pill came out in the 70’s and suddenly everyone was fucking and getting herpes. 70’s is when porn went mainstream and the 80’s is when it went ballistic with the VCR. You literally don’t know what you’re talking about.
 
‘Free love’ started in the 60’s with the hippies you daft twat. The pill came out in the 70’s and suddenly everyone was fucking and getting herpes. 70’s is when porn went mainstream and the 80’s is when it went ballistic with the VCR. You literally don’t know what you’re talking about.
Until the rise of Planned Parenthood in the early 1970s, women couldn't get birth control as easily as today. There were doctors who would not prescribe the pill unless the woman was married and had the permission of her husband. Sort of like the freedom of conscience exhibited by medical providers today related to abortion pills.
Prior to Congress amending the Fair Housing Act in 1974, it was legal to refuse to rent to single women. Women 18 to 21 were slut shamed if they did not live in the parental home. Ages 22 onward, the shit pay and restricted supply had women in roommate situations.
The reforms happened more quickly in the cities and took a while to filter out to the rest of the country.
Lack of privacy from living conditions, a chunk of the country being religious right, and not as much access to birth control as touted put a damper on the old whango tango.
 
There were doctors who would not prescribe the pill unless the woman was married and had the permission of her husband
There were also doctors and feminist associations and public clinics giving out the pill like candy.
Prior to Congress amending the Fair Housing Act in 1974, it was legal to refuse to rent to single women.
Now tell me how often it happened, oh wait you can’t, because you talk about theoretical inputs not what actually occurred.
Women 18 to 21 were slut shamed if they did not live in the parental home.
Okay now you’re just making stuff up and acting like post-hippie America was one big ol’ oppressive Rockwell painting.
Ages 22 onward, the shit pay and restricted supply had women in roommate situations.
Being roommates is still a thing even today, what the fuck are you on about?
Lack of privacy from living conditions, a chunk of the country being religious right, and not as much access to birth control as touted put a damper on the old whango tango.
Pretty sure the far higher fertility rates in the 70’s and 80’s, even after the pill came out, compared to today says you’re full of shit.
 
There were also doctors and feminist associations and public clinics giving out the pill like candy.

Now tell me how often it happened, oh wait you can’t, because you talk about theoretical inputs not what actually occurred.

Okay now you’re just making stuff up and acting like post-hippie America was one big ol’ oppressive Rockwell painting.

Being roommates is still a thing even today, what the fuck are you on about?

Pretty sure the far higher fertility rates in the 70’s and 80’s, even after the pill came out, compared to today says you’re full of shit.
If you can't wrap your brain around the fact that fewer people lived in cities with access to clinics, that there is a lag between legislation being passed and the affects being observed, the fact that there was a private practice model of health care provision, and the fact that women (aka room mates) will slut shame other women I don't know what to tell you.
Given that my mother was Catholic (born circa 1940) I have it on good authority about spousal permission on birth control.
If "dumb" is lack of access to everyone's enumerated for centuries sexual history I think you need to wear the newspaper cone hat.
 
I think it’s just technology and especially phones taking all of the “inconvenience” out of life. I don’t have to go out and make real friends or relationships when I can just interact with my friends on discord or reddit or even just aI chatbots and enjoy a simulacra of social interaction without the effort. Or just get easy dopamine rush from games on my phone and Netflix without having to bother doing inconvenient things like leave my house. I don’t even have to leave to do things like grocery shop because I can just have an app take care of all of that. Humans are highly motivated by sex, but while in the past I would have had to take care of myself at a reasonable level and make something of myself I can now “have” all sorts of attractive women without any effort besides opening pornhub.
 
There are three major factors at hand here, for the sake of brevity, I'll give the "short" version.

1- The social aspect brought by the online space (even tho it technically started before). It started with the internet, things were pretty fine, then we got social media, things got a bit sour but still workable but then we got dating sites, alright things are getting a bit concerning but maybe we can bounce back, then we got prostitution sites (cuz thats what they are) and the rot is complete. I dont think people truly understand how fucked the mind of the average female is thanks to years of exposure to the latter 3. I remember I once read someone saying that in the days of old, women had to choose the best man in the village and that was just fine, it worked for thousands and thousands of years. But now you have a woman capable of selecting a planet worth of men so why should she ever give the local man the light of day? She can have chad ready to go with the simplicity and attachment of ordering a food delivery, combine that with feminism rot, women have basically ruined their capacity to pairbond since they now have more sex than hookers had back in the day. They have drowned in their own "freedom". Chad wont keep them but they will seek chad because they are conflicting with what their software and hardware desires and are quite literally going nuts over it. Women would much rather share a top 10 man, a fucking haram, instead of being with a single average 5-6/10 man willing to love her no matter what.

Nature didnt make us this way and we are all paying dearly for it

2- Economical aspect. Living in modern society is getting more and more expensive and you are needing to work harder and harder to achieve a third of what boomers could with a fucking side job at the local Mcdonalds. People are constantly on survival mode and something you also need to understand about men is that we have our limits of what we are willing to put up with. Here is what I mean, say you work 2 jobs and through a miracle you are able to get a date and schedule it in the perfect window of time between your jobs or its your break or whatever. You want to see if this might work out, sex is good but you are seeking a life partner. Then women begin to behave what you might expect and make usually unreasonable demands and expectations around things you cant control give the social economical situation or because its just how you were born. Eventually the politeness begins to weaken as a man begins to wonder if this is what he is risking it all for. This is what he is suppose to share his life with. Men have enough on their plates and having a nagging girl on their back is absolutely the fucking last thing we need so the plug is pulled and you bounce out of that before she can take a picture of you to tweet how awful you are.

Having a wife and then a family is an investment of love and time and the rewards are getting smaller and smaller to justify the hassle.

3- Legal aspect. Millenials and zoomers have been raised on the realization that the courts are, more often than not, rigged against men. Even if you "win" at this game, you might still lose. You are playing a game of which you are gaining very little and if your wife feels like it (even if its out of boredom because you are daring work yourself to death), she can blow the whole thing up and you are the one that has to pick up the pieces. Its becoming a game that men are feeling like the winning move is not play at all. I have witnessed and read horror stories about marriages and while you can argue some are false or exaggerated, I mean, would it surprise you if they WERE real at the same time? Not likely.

Men are finding easier to get one of those deals to have a mother have their kid and let them keep it. Men want to be fathers more than to be husbands and who can blame them? You get your heir and more often than not, you will be able to raise it better off without the mother.

Sex is sex but what men want is purpose, a future to fight for. And women arent being that purpose and much less worth fighting for.

And the worst part? Men.Do.Not.Want.This. We want things to be like they were but its simply not working out anymore due to the factors I mentioned (and a few more but this is already long).

Very tragic times indeed.

Women have turned getting sex be it through the traditional way or by prostitution into a legal minefield. And at the end of this minefield thanks again to feminism you have women whose weight and number of tats is only equaled by the extraordinary list of expectations they expect their billionaire supermodel adventurer boyfriend to have.

Congrats feminists, you've accomplished what hardcore fundamentalist Christians have dreamed of for centuries.

Feminist went on a decades long circle into eventually ending there they started

On their knees to men (except now they wear dresses) and prostituting themselves because their bodies are all they got in terms of worth.

God, fate, whatever does have a sick sense of humor
 
You have many young men checking out of society and in turn, relationships. They have access to the internet and porn to satisfy any sexual urges with no requirement to actually go out and meet the opposite sex and woo them in order to sleep with them. History once again showing that the internet and the smartphone were a mistake
Porn only can satiate the physical, it doesn’t solve the spiritual or emotional eventually it leads to loneliness and emptiness.
 
Women have turned getting sex be it through the traditional way or by prostitution into a legal minefield. And at the end of this minefield thanks again to feminism you have women whose weight and number of tats is only equaled by the extraordinary list of expectations they expect their billionaire supermodel adventurer boyfriend to have.

Congrats feminists, you've accomplished what hardcore fundamentalist Christians have dreamed of for centuries.
Threads like these are always great because of all the fat retarded virgins making excuses on why they can't get pussy.
I don’t have to go out and make real friends or relationships when I can just interact with my friends on discord or reddit or even just aI chatbots
Talking to AI bots is for mentally broken psychos. Get help. Also >discord yikes.
 
Última edición:
Threads like these are always great because of all the fat retarded virgins making excuses on why they can't get pussy.

Why do male feminists and/or white knights always go straight to a person's personal sexual activities rather than try to make a logical argument? I guess they really don't have anything and just have to rely on insults?

Why is not agreeing with feminism and having rightwing views automatically mean you're not getting any sex when the bulk of actual evidence https://www.eurekalert.org/news-releases/1086144 and people like Movieblob the plague of progressive male sex pests etc shows that actual incels are more likely be left leaning and are more likely to start simping and white knighting rather than go off to the 'manosphere'? Me thinks the simp protests too much.
 
Última edición:
Why do male feminists and/or white knights always go straight to a person's personal sexual activities rather than try to make a logical argument? I guess they really don't have anything and just have to rely on insults?

Why is not agreeing with feminism and having rightwing views automatically mean you're not getting any sex when the bulk of actual evidence https://www.eurekalert.org/news-releases/1086144 and people like Movieblob the plague of progressive male sex pests etc shows that actual incels are more likely be left leaning and are more likely to start simping and white knighting rather than go off to the 'manosphere'? Me thinks the simp protests too much.
"I can't get pussy because of feminism!" 🤓
 
Porn only can satiate the physical, it doesn’t solve the spiritual or emotional eventually it leads to loneliness and emptiness.
Lewis was right about masturbation
But also, the ease of pornography access also overlaps with the ease of real sexual access for women, so you have this double whammy where a lot of men have decreasing tolerances for being inconvenienced by real women in lieu of Slick Rick's Dick Pick brand lube and a silicone receptacle (or just their hand) and a lot of women have an increasing base standard for the guys they'll give the time of day due to options.
This will continue to worsen because neither side sees a compromise as anything but total defeat and even if their biological clocks scream at them they are priced out of raising families anyway.
 
“I definitely miss sex,” says Cameron Chapman, 41, a technology writer in rural Vermont who has decided that she’s happier being single. “But I don’t want to give up my independence and freedom for a relationship.”
yeah i'm sure its your independence that's keeping you from landing that dream hunk

Unekwu Yakubu, a 35-year-old biochemist in San Francisco, hasn’t had sex since her long-distance relationship ended a few years ago
teleporter broke down and can no longer return to the breeding pools on her homeworld
 
Yakubu's teleporter broke down and can no longer return to the breeding pools on her homeworld
Show her some respect. Her ancestor invented snow devils.
Seriously though, I searched her name and she's quite cute.
I'm guessing it is complicated by her San Fransisco biotech coworkers being disproportionately Asian and Asians know their parents wouldn't accept an African daughter-in-law. And most Nigerian parents wouldn't accept a Black American son-in-law either.
Not to mention SF being the gayest city in America.
 
19 year old men are not worrying about being baby trapped or the implications of a lifelong marriage, and I don't think most of them are particularly concerned about #metoo or whatever legal shit the anti-feminists here are pointing to. The "feminized" school environment, has maybe made men less ambitious, less exciting, which leads to less compelling presence in the face of female peers, and thus less sex, but the root cause is primarily what people have pointed to already, namely technology, the attention it demands and the isolation it breeds. Young people party less, older people interact less, fewer are in LTRs, we are in large social situations less, we drink less, and for many, there is an escape route through porn. Keep in mind how it's just assumed every man masturbates now, and again assumed like 90%+ consume porn. That wasn't the case decades ago. Masturbation obviously existed since the dawn of man, but the idea that essentially every guy was jerking off on a regular basis would have seemed absurd, pathetic.

Hypergamy plays a role, we are in a sexually capitalist/competitive environment, not the more sexually socialist one we found ourselves in throughout the 20th century. Not the primary cause but one of them, for sure.

People are also just unhappy. People mentioned SSRIs, which lower libido, but the fact that people are on them at all is significant and even those that aren't just generally are less happy, and less horny as a result.

Lastly, one thing I didn't see mentioned in the discussion, though the article touches on it, is people are BUSY. Our lives are filled with convenience, but managing the convenience generates a tremendous amount of busy work. we are distracted and our time consumed in ways they weren't decades ago. Commuting, managing kids and their social/extracurricular schedules, taking work home/being constantly on call via chat and phone, we are simply distracted. Kids used to just leave the house, roam in groups, now their play involves the supervision and attendance of the parents. The list goes on.

Most of this is again facilitated by technology in some way, but without blanket bans on children using smart phones, a cultural environment that both enables freedom from and shames use of or reliance on devices at home, manages to find ways to get people interacting in real life again, and an economic system that gives people leisure time necessary to reconnect and doesn't necessitate 24/7 connection, things are not getting better. No one in government has our best interest in mind and they, and we, are controlled by the groups that profit most from our distraction and their access to our souls/intimate lives via our devices.
 
Última edición:
Americans Are Having Less Sex Than Ever
How far back do records go, exactly? I hate articles like this, that make the implicit assumption that behavioural trends over the past few decades are somehow indicative of inherent parts of the human experience.
There are a number of decadeslong trends at play, including declining marriage and cohabitation rates. (People who live with a romantic partner tend to have more sex.)
Also, this is the bit that really matters. People are increasingly isolated from one another. Why is having sex presented as somehow the most important part of a stable, commited relationship? And what about friendships? Are they not important?
Elizabeth Bernstein
Oh, right.
 
Atrás
Top Abajo