🐷 Ethan Ralph's Twitter / Tweets - A collection of thoughts, insights and musings from the internet's favorite gunted hobbit

[Pierre D'Olnique]

The Methan saga is about to begin.

 

[Popper Whiting]

This idiot will end up getting scoped. Medellin is bad at the moment. A lot of different criminals from surrounding countries are going specifically to El Poblado with the intention of drugging and robbing foreigners, using scopamaline. They don't care if the gringo ends up dead, in hospital or permanently affected. Rule of Colombia is if you're getting offered pussy from women you've just met you're getting set up to be robbed, especially if he is hiring chicas from the street and bringing them back to an air bnb.

I love Colombia, but it is a minefield for idiots. Some get scoped and robbed, others walk around with obvious wealth and get shot and stabbed for it, others get into the local cocaine not realizing it hasn't been cut like the stuff they're used to and OD, others pick fights with local and end up being bashed or murdered. Some get addicted to basuco and end up walking around like zombies near Botero plaza.

Colombia is fucking fantastic if you're going to do the touristy thing or business. But if you're anyone like Ethan Ralph things can go tits up very quickly.

 

[RandomGibberish]

How did it take him 3 days to finish an 5 hour flight?

Is he that inept at life?

 

[Vect]

I'll give Ralph some credit, a wigger oaf like him surviving the lower half of the Americas alone for 2 years can not be easy on his wits or his wallet.

 

[Guntkvd]

Ver archivo adjunto 7289530989IxHdZpDTe1K1K.mp4 a
https://youtube.com/watch?v=1kBq_IZYhDg

The sektur lives on. Glory to sektur.

 

[Dude Snakes]

Wow I assumed Ethan had died of an overdose or the drug cartels killed him, it's impressive he has survived this long.

 

[New Horrors]

There was no chance Ralph was going to tap-out before meeting his match in the ring

0:37

 

[TV's Adam West]

Columbian prostitutes are going to be mad when they drug him and find out he has absolutely no money.

FIVE STAR DAYS, BITCH!

 

[Rage Pig]

How did it take him 3 days to finish an 5 hour flight?

Is he that inept at life?

Most likely explanation is that the 2 year anniversary of Pantsu leaving gave him a serious dose of the bpd piggy feels. Went on a multi day bender and then took a flight to Medellin. He usually loves to post selfies and clips of him talking, but in the video there is no piggy to be heard or seen. I guess he's got a bad hangover and doesn't want to show how shittered he is,

 

[Feyd-Robert Rekieta]

How did it take him 3 days to finish an 5 hour flight?

Is he that inept at life?

His dumb drunken ass probably kept taking the wrong plane and he flew around the whole world twice, before by pure chance, arriving in Columbia.

 

[Fausto]

Its time for la Columbian senoritas to prepare theire assholes because the Ralphamalés thumb is itching for a scratching.
SUFFAH prostitutes

 

[BrainProlapse]

I'M THE GUNTED PHOENIX, BISH!

I RISE FROM THE ASHES CAUSE I'M FUCKIN IMMORTAL BISH!

Spoiler: GUNT

For the record I actually think he's got nearly 10 years left in him; spite and tortas alone will keep him alive into his late 40s. He'll just get more and more decrepit and repulsive until he dies age 48, drunkenly tripping over his gunt and falling down some stairs.

 

[Zaryiu2]

We need a poll for how soon Ralph run into major trouble over there or one on what end up happening

 

[isalaide]

"Ethan Ralph Goes To Medellin" has the potential to be THE lolcow event of 2025. Don't disappoint us guntling

 

[Chongqing]

I think he eluded to plans to have sex with trafficked/coerced/or otherwise broken teenagers on this trip when some teen Latina porn studio tweeted him recently.

I found that to be very disappointing. I don't know why I expect him to be moral, but I thought that plan was low, for him.

 

[Dr. Arinsu]

3 days for a five hour flight?
I guess 2 + 2 = Fish now.

 

[Zaryiu2]

I think he eluded to plans to have sex with trafficked/coerced/or otherwise broken teenagers on this trip when some teen Latina porn studio tweeted him recently.

I found that to be very disappointing. I don't know why I expect him to be moral, but I thought that plan was low, for him.

I'm pretty sure one of his old locations he visited in Merida was busted for that kind of stuff some time ago

 

[GPRIMACADO]

3 days and many ask:

 

[Max Free]

I've misread the feature at first and my heart skipped a beat. You never truly appreciate your lolcows until you think they are no more. Hopefully, everybody knows how unique Ralph is and how much poorer the farms would be without him.

 

[BigFatSweatyMan]

YOU CAN'T ABORT THE RETORT