Going forward, this is going to be a different page. Forewarning, there will be less political commentary on here, and I'm hoping to make this page much lighter and a place to come for joy and enjoyment. The last 2 weeks, I have been in a mental and emotional state of chaos since the election. It is 2 weeks today, and I have done some soul searching in the last few days. I am exhausted.
The last 2 weeks have left me with chest pains, that I have thought several times I may need to go to the hospital for. I'm going through a lot, a lot. I am in a more stable living situation, but it is not a home that isn't my own. I still do not have a vehicle of my own. I'm still using a family my mom's specific my mom's truck.
Josh is trying to find employment that is more than $10 an hour. He is working right now, but it is $10 an hour. And with my income and his income, we can't afford to even get housing. So, he's trying to find work to add on to the work he has. We have a lot of stress in our life even though things have gotten better, and the added stress of the political unrest is just too much.
I need to step back. I need a moment. I need joy. I need laughter. I am not giving up the fight because our rights are worth fighting for.
Everyone's rights, human rights, women's rights, LGBTQ plus, rights for you to marry whoever you want, civil rights, but I cannot do that if I am not here. And I'm saying that for other people that need to hear that as well. You cannot continue to fight if you do not take care of yourself first. There are enough new young blood out there willing and ready to fight this through the next 4 years. Let them step forward and let them start learning how to lead.
That is how you become a leader as you learn by doing. I have been in this fight for so long now, but I am losing me in the process. And I am jarred with the memory of a movie called Iron Jawed Angels. And one of the the hardest fighters in that movie for women's rights ended up not taking care of herself to the point that she passed. And I don't want that for myself because I still have too much to live for.
Having chest pain is scary. It is terrifying. Not knowing if it's just anxiety based or if you may be causing yourself real strain on your actual heart. So in that, I'm stepping back. This page will be much lighter going forward, much more creative, Talking about books I read, hopefully, if I can get myself to actually be able to read.
I went to the library and I picked out some new books. I got 3 books that were on the New York best seller list, and I got 2 books on the banned book list, by Toni Morrison. One of them is The Bluest Eyes. I've always wanted to read it, and I think it's more than time to read that book. So hopefully, I can make myself actually quiet my mind enough to read because here's the thing that happens with me when I read is I will get I read so fast and my brain disconnects at the same time, and I will be 3 pages ahead and not know what I've just read.
It is frustrating, but I'm I'm hoping that I can get my brain retrained to reading again, for enjoyment and not just for the fight. I need to create. I haven't painted anything in months because I have to be in a very specific mindset to create, and I can't do that if I'm in stress. I have been in stress for a while now. Kamala gave me hope.
She gave me a joy and a reminder of joy that I had not had in years. I have forgotten about it completely because I was so focused on the fight and just surviving at this point. Survival is exhausting. I'm at a place at this moment. It may not be my home, but it is a home that I can kinda take a deep breath in, and that's what I need to do.
I am encouraging everyone to continue the fight. Continue to plan vigil day in your own communities around the world. I never intended to start a worldwide movement with one single post, but, well, here we are. It just so happens to coincide at the same moment. I need a break.
And there's nothing wrong with that because there are plenty of people to run this up the flagpole. So, rest if you need to rest. That was that's the whole message here. Rest if you need to rest. The fight has been long.
The fight has been hard. There are plenty more to step up in our moment of need. We do not give up the fight, but we don't neglect ourselves either. Take care of your mental health. Take care of your physical health, and your self care is extremely important.
Wear clothes that make you feel good and put together. Do your makeup with intention to make yourself feel good. Do your hair with the same intention. Buy the clothes that you know are not just drab and comfort, but make you feel good. There's nothing wrong with that in this world.
Experience joy. There's nothing against the law about joy at this moment in time. Go see the movies you wanna see. Listen to the music that lifts you up. That's simply the message at this point and the message going forward on this page.
Find the helpers was a mission of mine that I started years ago on this page, and it got lost in all of the other stuff. There are plenty of people in here that are great political commentators. I'm gonna leave it to them. We need content on this app that is more than politics, and I will be looking to create that. So that's where we're at.
I hope this finds you well, and I hope this encourages you to take a step back if you need to and fight on if that's what you feel you can do.