How to be chill around other guys
Y'all I need help here. I'm going on a short concert trip with my guy friends, and it feels euphoric as fuck. It's the first hangout they've invited me to but not invited any girls to, which gives me the impression that it's a guys' trip and that I'm one of them. Feels great.
Only issue is, I've been friends with these guys for like four years and to this day I still don't know how to interact with them as another one of the guys. I've always made friends with guys but I didn't realize I was trans til high school, which is when I started panicking about being perceived as male. I wanted nothing more than to be accepted as being just like any one of them, and I think that makes it really hard to be relaxed or have a good time. I'm so in my head every time we hang out together because there's a constant dialogue in my head trying to gauge what behavior is too feminine or not typical of men when interacting with each other. I know I probably worry too much, but I just really don't want to feel like the tomboy girlfriend who just barely made the cut for this trip. I don't want to be the "acception", I want to be able to interact with them in a way that feels natural and have them really believe I'm no different than any other guy. Is there anything at all that I can do to act more natural when hanging out with cis guys? Maybe more importantly, how do I stop feeling so incredibly anxious about just seeing my friends?