How Taylor Swift captured modern dating despair

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For two female journalists in their 30s - who also happen to be massive Swifties - there's a lot about Taylor Swift's new album that rings true.

From exes who strung us along, to comfort-eating after a breakup. We've all been there, and pop's biggest superstar has too.

Swift is no stranger to writing about personal subject matters. And she's also by no means the first musician to sing about heartbreak, pain and sorrow.

But in The Tortured Poets Department, Swift pinpoints the unique 21st Century anxieties that so many of us millennials have experienced when dating.

Perhaps more than any other song on her new album, So Long, London is the real sucker punch.

"I'm pissed off you let me give you all that youth for free," she laments, in a track widely thought to be about her ex-partner, Joe Alwyn.

This feels like a pivotal moment in the album. A moment so raw, that you're stopped in your tracks.

It doesn't matter that Swift is a world-famous musician, with A-list friends and a massive billion-dollar fortune. Beneath all of that, she's a 34-year-old woman, who understands all too well the anxieties about running out of time to find "The One", settle down and start a family.

Rebecca Reid, a Swiftie in her early 30s, told BBC News it felt like The Tortured Poets Department could have been written for her in mind.

"With So Long, London, but honestly, almost every single song, there's so much on there about the idea that you gave somebody your youth and that you can't get that back," she said.

"And that's definitely a feeling that I really resonate with."

In another song, Take Down Bad, Swift sings: "Now I'm down bad, crying at the gym."

Again, these are lyrics that strike a chord for many. Who hasn't experienced the depression of a breakup, which leaves you in tears as you try to go about your everyday routine?

Other lyrics see her too depressed to get out of bed, while in Manuscripts, Swift writes about comfort-eating children's cereal (which cereal, we found ourselves wondering).

For Saira Thwaites, who's almost 30 and a committed Swiftie, the more she listens to the tracks, the more she can relate to them.

"Her stories are so specific, and they really sum up the numbness and emptiness of a breakup," she says.

Even when Swift's on stage, surrounded by adoring fans during her Eras tour - a tour so successful that it's made her a billionaire - her grief remains in place.

"Breaking down, I hit the floor / All the pieces of me shattered as the crowd was chanting, 'More'," she sings on the deceitfully upbeat I Can Do It With A Broken Heart.

'Swift still experiences dating despair'

"[The song] is about telling everybody you're fine and being creative and pushing through when you're not really giving yourself the space to heal or to grieve, that you need this," Reid says.

"Again, that's something that I can really resonate with because I spent the early period of my break-up single parenting, and going on TV and radio and writing books and telling everybody how great I was and how happy I was when I was, in fact, processing one of the worst traumas of my life."

Helen Brown, a music critic at The Independent, says "a whole generation of women" have found Swift's songs to be the soundtrack to their lives.

"Singing of the elusive lure of rings and cradles, Swift articulates the challenges facing a generation who are marrying and having children on average five years later than in the 1990s," she tells BBC News.

"It's equally reassuring and alarming to think that even without the financial challenges facing most people her age, Swift still experiences the dating despair of her peers.

"Like them she sounds overwhelmed by the options and describes being ghosted as she asks herself if she expects too much, or too little of herself and her partners."

In telling the story of modern dating, Swift has never held back in writing about her exes.

Many are reading her latest album as a dig in particular at Alwyn and the 1975's Matty Healy while also touching on her current sweetheart, NFL superstar Travis Kelce.

Her intentions are laid bare from the sleeve notes for the album, in which she says: "A smirk creeps onto this poet's face. Because it's the worst men that I write best."

Swift and Alwyn, an actor, split up in April 2023. When she later announced the arrival of a new album, fans immediately began to speculate it would deal with the fall-out.

Her choice of album title echoed a WhatsApp group chat that Alwyn and Normal People star Paul Mescal had, called The Tortured Man Club, adding to the speculation.

In So Long, London, she hints at wedding plans, singing: "You swore that you loved me, but where were the clues, I died on the altar waiting for the proof."

She also revealed she was upset at having to leave London, where she'd lived with Alwyn - adding that she'd "loved" the city.

Another track, But Daddy I Love Him, is also thought to address the discourse that surrounded Swift's reported-but-never-confirmed romance with The 1975's lead singer Healy, last year.

Some fans felt let down by the relationship, saying that Healy - who has faced accusations of misogyny and racism in his career (all of which he denies) - was an inappropriate choice of partner.

In her song, Swift hits back, declaring: "I'd rather burn my whole life down than listen to one more second of all this bitching and moaning / I'll tell you something about my good name, it's mine alone to disgrace."

But is humiliating your exes in public the right thing to do? Brown says it is "a complicated issue".

"Swift doesn't name anybody in these songs and her real history has always been braided with fiction. She's a storyteller, coming from a country music tradition which has a long history of female stars calling out bad behaviour from men," she says.

"I'd add that while Swift may take swipes at her exes, she always holds herself to account. As both the exes she appears to be addressing on this record are also songwriters, they've got a right to reply in their own work and I suspect they both think all's fair in love and lyrics."

The BBC has reached out to both Alywn - who did not respond - and Healy, who wasn't available for comment.

So where does all of that leave Swift's current very public relationship with Kelce?

'Love makes Taylor behave like a kid'

Nona Uppal, another dedicated Swiftie, tells the BBC that while a lot of The Tortured Poets Department is about despair and heartbreak, it also nods to the happiness Swift feels in a new relationship, which is also something that many people can identify with.

She points to the song So High School, which she interprets as being about Kelce as it is "all about butterflies and doing the things that kids would do in watching movies with your friends".

"I think it just captures a whole spectrum of human emotion where love makes Taylor behave like a kid. And that to her is what love is all about," she says.

"And I just love the level of vulnerability that captures, because I think that's something I relate to pretty heavily."

BBC News
Archive [April 20 2024]
 
She makes generic music for generic people. Lyrics are juvenile and artless and yet she’s held up as some kind of pop music standard. Wouldn’t care about her dating life at all if she could at least articulate it well in song. Hot take, I know. She irks me.
"Now I'm down bad, crying at the gym."

Again, these are lyrics that strike a chord for many.
Yeah, truly a songwriter for the ages.
 
It's kind of amazing how retarded most people are that they can't be arsed to look up "attractive white girl talking about relationships" and get better artists (in terms of looks and talent) like Liz Phair, Juliana Hatfield, Sheryl Crow or Sarah McLachlan and even they weren't so one-note with their music. It's like there's an active dumbing down of the populace in terms of not only the music they listen to but the ability to find new music. Kanye was right in saying that Taylor Swift is not good and she's a plant. Even fucking Courtney Love has more talent in one finger than this broad does her entire body.
For sure. her popularity honestly baffles me. She might be the most famous, but I would say she’s one of the most mediocre even among the milquetoast genre that is Mainstream Pop Girl music. Lana del Rey for example is infinitely better in literally every way IMHO. I’d say their music quality wise is so far apart the comparison is honestly a joke.. Which is funny considering they’ve had albums by Jack antonoff. even Kanye likes lana lol

but anyways. Taylor lol. a two hour album that is all fluff filler music is insane
 
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because the football guy relationship is obviously on a contractual basis and the breakup date is a matter of law. It's just to rehabilitate her image after the evil antisemitic racist.
Even if it wasn’t to rebrand. She’s known for breakup songs and songs about relationships. All her relationships straight up might be contracted so she always has something to write about.
 
In another song, Take Down Bad, Swift sings: "Now I'm down bad, crying at the gym."
Andy Warski better have gotten credit as a songwriter for this line. I can hear him saying that as clear as day. :story:

For sure. her popularity honestly baffles me.
It makes sense to me. She's beautiful and looks like the Disney princess prototype that every girl sees as an ideal. She started off as a wholesome country artist (even if she had the wind at her back) and transitioned to pop without going super edgy or anything; she's largely been uncontroversial and hasn't been a massive politisperg (not saying she's never voiced stupid opinions, but she hasn't gone off the deep end that I'm aware of.)
 
I figured the spin from her PR team/music "journalists" would be off the charts when even Reddit is shitting on it. The lyrics read like they were created with AI and the music from the clips I have heard all sound the same and just dull. Breathy singing style, no real chord progression and just drones on and on.
 
Even if it wasn’t to rebrand. She’s known for breakup songs and songs about relationships. All her relationships straight up might be contracted so she always has something to write about.
I saw women shitting on the new album saying she was trying to do the edgy/moody thing that "Lana Del Rey does effortlessly".
 
I saw women shitting on the new album saying she was trying to do the edgy/moody thing that "Lana Del Rey does effortlessly".
oh definitely lol. Lana del rey wrote "videogames" in 2012 while taylor swift is just now learning GTA is a thing.
 
For two female journalists in their 30s - who also happen to be massive Swifties - there's a lot about Taylor Swift's new album that rings true.
Modern journalism would be improved immensely if they just screened out anyone who described themselves as a Swiftie, a Barb or part of the Beyhive.
Beneath all of that, she's a 34-year-old woman, who understands all too well the anxieties about running out of time to find "The One", settle down and start a family.
She's worth $1bil. If she wants children she can just have some babies with that six foot five athlete she's dating and not worry about the long term, because those kids are going to be raised by an army of nannies anyway. Or she could even throw her life into a family and become a full time stay at home mum if she's genuinely broody, because she's worth $1bil and never has to worry what would happen if she's left holding the baby.
That's basically what Kate Bush did; she met her husband, bought a lovely house in a pretty village and raised her boy, retiring from the public eye and only doing music as a creative outlet rather than caring about stardom. But then Kate Bush is both down to earth and immensely talented.
 
Yeah, truly a songwriter for the ages.
There's also:

"We could pick a decade /
we wished we could live instead of here /
I'd say the 1830's without all the racists" (I hate it here)

"So go and tell your friends that I’m obsessive and crazy / That’s fine I’ll tell mine that you’re gay!" (Picture to Burn)

"Cause you were Romeo – I was a scarlet letter” (Love story)

"All you are is mean / And a liar, and pathetic, and alone in life / And mean, and mean, and mean, and mean" (Mean).

And my favorite:

"Cory’s eyes are like a jungle / He smiles, it’s like the radio" (Stay beautiful)
 
Yo, those lyrics are straight up awful. The old Jewish dude writing this shit should get his brain checked.
 
Figured women loved Taylor because they find her songs relatable, but that's actually concerning to me
I will admit Ive had the misfortune of going on dates with 'Swifties.' The first one was self described and self absorbed; wouldn't shut up about going to her concert with friends. The second one was going on an on about how relatable she was about not finding right guy and the heartbreak struggle. This was a first date and already I felt like it was being set up for being a failure in someones Tay tay larp. Its not a healthy obsession. I can understand a good breakup song but being in your 20s and romanticizing an artist who sings about perpetual heartbreak to the point where its a personality trait is not going to give you a good long term relationship.

Ive wondered if she would even commit to a marrying the football guy at the cost of ruining her brand and loosing out on $$$.
 
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