What if the lolcows decided to collaborate?

[CatParty]

we have had so many lolcows try to take down their threads or the site as a whole, but what if they could actually get their shit together and work with each other? It's not like it's impossible to contact another person with a thread, all of their info is public.

 

[Dr. Boe Jangles Esq.]

A cadre of the world's least competent people still amounts to so much hot piss.
For the sake of argument, let's say that the following (utterly impossible) conditions were met:
1. They could get over their ego's long enough to accept input from each other and form a plan.
2. They could find the motivation to be bothered with doing anything.
3. They could keep their wildly different goals and ideas in check long enough to prevent fighting with each other.

You still have a group of people who are fairly poor, not terribly bright, and impressively lazy. Really, it's rather like Kiwi's, in a way:
There can be a huge group of us working towards a common goal, but we're still retarded.

 

[autisticdragonkin]

This would be a good sitcom

 

[nude tayne]

isn't this kengle's entire premise

 

[Mimic]

If they form the Super Speds, we obviously retaliate by forming a Legion of Doom.

 

[Tismo]

death

 

[Sanic]

They'll band together and form a beautiful rainbow.

 

[Flowers For Sonichu]

isn't this kengle's entire premise

Considering Islamic terrorist groups recruit the mentally handicapped for suicide bombings, it's quite possible he is befriending them for a jihad.

 

[Not-NiGHTS]

What if they all came together, jumped in the air, and then merge into a large, autistic giant with the only intention of destroying the farms?

 

[Picklechu]

What if they all came together, jumped in the air, and then merge into a large, autistic giant with the only intention of destroying the farms?

Spoiler

 

[Not-NiGHTS]

Spoiler

https://youtube.com/watch?v=tZZv5Z2Iz_s

Exactly, trumpet music and all, bjt who would form the head?

 

[RepQuest]

Exactly, trumpet music and all, bjt who would form the head?

Kengle will lead the jihad.

 

[FightTheMoose]

Most lolcows aren't super intuitive.

 

[Not-NiGHTS]

Most lolcows aren't super intuitive.

Maybe not, but they would each have the common goal of ending the farms.

 

[FightTheMoose]

Maybe not, but they would each have the common goal of ending the farms.

Yeah, but no cohesion. This is the important fact. They may all have the same goal, but there's a reason why they are lolcows. If they had the ability to act together, they would have made good friends who would have prevented them from becoming lolcows.

 

[Not-NiGHTS]

Yeah, but no cohesion. This is the important fact. They may all have the same goal, but there's a reason why they are lolcows. If they had the ability to act together, they would have made good friends who would have prevented them from becoming lolcows.

Actually, that's a good point. But it's exactly why it's a "What If" question. They couldn't feasibly work together without clashing against each other's ego, but it's still a enjoyable thought imagining them trying to come up with a half hazard plan to end the farms.

 

[Admiral Piett]

we have had so many lolcows try to take down their threads or the site as a whole, but what if they could actually get their shit together and work with each other? It's not like it's impossible to contact another person with a thread, all of their info is public.

It's already happened. Just look at the Sarkeesian Effect.

 

[Marvin]

This is what happens.

 

[Pikonic]

The idea is interesting, but impossible.
Lolcows tend to have a high opinion of themselves so there wouldn't be a leader, every disagreement about what to do next would turn into a circle jerk and nothing would happen.
Chris would join and half the cows would leave because they don't want to be compared to him.
Phil would join and demand it be transwomyn latinxes only, leaving only spudself in the group.
Pixy would join and all the MRAs would cry that a real woman is allowed to join.
Dobson would join and it wouldn't be a lolcow group anymore.
Enter would join and it would immeadietly be disbanded due to too much autism.

 

[Jewelsmakerguy]

The idea is interesting, but impossible.
Lolcows tend to have a high opinion of themselves so there wouldn't be a leader, every disagreement about what to do next would turn into a circle jerk and nothing would happen.
Chris would join and half the cows would leave because they don't want to be compared to him.
Phil would join and demand it be transwomyn latinxes only, leaving only spudself in the group.
Pixy would join and all the MRAs would cry that a real woman is allowed to join.
Dobson would join and it wouldn't be a lolcow group anymore.
Enter would join and it would immeadietly be disbanded due to too much autism.

And that's only assuming they even get that far.

The way I see it, it could go one of two ways:
- The lolcows decide to get along, yet still manage to screw themselves over in some way, thus causing a lolercaust of epic proportions.
- They either fight against each other or get distracted by something or other, and forget what they were supposed to be doing.

Either way, it wouldn't end well for them if that actually happened. And it's not like a lolcow would even know that another person was a lolcow unless they found out after the fact. And honestly, I doubt any of the lolcows (save a few) even know who the hell the others are to begin with.