Prison Letters (6/13/22) - New Chris Jail Letter to Helena - Bella was possessed by demons and had a "pedo scheme", Helena attempted to collaborate with Chris as he's creating a new book, Soul Bonding is now just holding hands

[Intimate Secretary]

I for one look for the school shooter saga where only Chris is shot by officers when trying to enter a school and no one else is harmed.

actually yeah sofacuck 2.0 isn't out of the Dimensional Merge of possibility I suppose, huh

 

[ToroidalBoat]

homeless saga

school shooter saga

Both could happen: a homeless Chris tries to go postal, but no one is harmed because Chris is too "Honor Roll" to be a threat?

Then after half a dozen or more continuance and maybe another stay in a Jail of Fail, "The Teflon Tard" is back on the street?

 

[The Dude]

Both could happen: a homeless Chris tries to go postal, but no one is harmed because Chris is too "Honor Roll" to be a threat?

Then after half a dozen or more continuance and maybe another stay in a Jail of Fail, "The Teflon Tard" is back on the street?

I doubt Chris can legally buy a firearm with his criminal record now.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

I doubt Chris can legally buy a firearm with his criminal record now.

I can imagine Chris trying to go postal with a "lolcow weapon" like a painted bat or pepper spray.

 

[A-№1]

I doubt Chris can legally buy a firearm with his criminal record now.

Chris is not a felon (yet). He may be disqualified due to his various mental evaluations (devaluations?), but probably not.

That said, Chris would rather spend the money on some lego and beg weens to do his dirty work.

 

[Cockadoodle85]

I doubt Chris can legally buy a firearm with his criminal record now.

he can fish out the rovelver barb used to duckhunt cole from whatever hole it is in

 

[Procrastinhater]

Yeah this isn't 2010, no one is letting even a crack shack like 14BC go into foreclosure if it's even remotely avoidable

Tbh 14BC isn't a bad home, if it hadn't had the Chandlers living in it since the 80's destroying the property value.
Looking at the area and the floorplan, I could turn that place into something that would more than make back the mortgage they took out on it without too much of an investment (thats assuming its not filled with dry rot, black mold, weevils etc).
You'd have to be a fucking idiot to let it fall into foreclosure.
Then again, look at the owners.

 

[DeeCeeBees]

I doubt Chris can legally buy a firearm with his criminal record now.

If somehow Chris was able to pass a NICS check I'm sure that the weens would put the new Red Flag laws to the test (if they pass the House that is).

 

[Tits Warrior]

If anyone hasn't seen this drawing yet here it is.

 

[LoveYouLongTime]

With Barb out of the house, I have to imagine that whatever family member she is staying with is going to get Power of Attorney, etc. and put in charge of Barb's estate. If I was them I would sell the house and hopefully get some money(who knows considering it's been refinanced or reverse mortgaged) from the sale to hopefully go towards Barb's care. Barb can't live on her own and Chris is certainly not going to be allowed to care for her if/when he's out of jail.

I think one of the better outcomes would be the house is sold(or taken by the bank) without anyone telling Chris so that when he is eventually let out he has a massive chimp out when he shows up and there are new owners. A girl can only dream.

 

[Pointless Sperg]

With Barb out of the house, I have to imagine that whatever family member she is staying with is going to get Power of Attorney, etc. and put in charge of Barb's estate. If I was them I would sell the house and hopefully get some money(who knows considering it's been refinanced or reverse mortgaged) from the sale to hopefully go towards Barb's care. Barb can't live on her own and Chris is certainly not going to be allowed to care for her if/when he's out of jail.

I think one of the better outcomes would be the house is sold(or taken by the bank) without anyone telling Chris so that when he is eventually let out he has a massive chimp out when he shows up and there are new owners. A girl can only dream.

You should buy the house, then he can be extra enraged when his dream girl lives there and he's not allowed inside.

 

[thegooddoctor]

What an unbelievably boring era we’re in, all we can look forward to now is the inevitable trial and than post jail homeless saga. I have a feeling that due to the weenery and autism that attracts to Chris like flies to a turd he might have his letter privileges revoked from him at some point due to the negative attention and doxxing of supporting people I feel it leads to.

 

[LoveYouLongTime]

You should buy the house, then he can be extra enraged when his dream girl lives there and he's not allowed inside.

If I bought the house I would rent it out to a bunch of Chad's.

Has anyone been by the house recently? I'm curious the state it is in right now. If I happen to be on that side of town this weekend I might make a detour.

ETA Chris won't be able to purchase a firearm. At least not from a (reputable) gun dealer. Gun dealers have an ethical duty to make a responsible decision who they sell too even if they pass the background check. One look at and conversation with Chris should be a reasonable hard pass to sell him a firearm. Even a shady dealer would probably refuse a sale because if Chris were to commit a crime or offed himself they wouldn't need the backlash of selling a firearm to an obvious mentally ill person.

 

[Yksi_Toveri]

Even a shady dealer would probably refuse a sale because if Chris were to commit a crime or offed himself they wouldn't need the backlash of selling a firearm to an obvious mentally ill person.

I wonder if Chris's infamy is known well enough to your average Virginian redneck with an FFA as to blacklist him immediately. I should hope so.

 

[LoveYouLongTime]

I wonder if Chris's infamy is known well enough to your average Virginian redneck with an FFA as to blacklist him immediately. I should hope so.

Maybe within Greene County, but no. He isn't well known outside the nerd community in the area. But that doesn't matter, because if I saw someone like Chris lumber in with a clay character necklace, mold green hair and unicorn horn on his forehead I would have already made the decision not to sell him a gun.

 

[Pointless Sperg]

Has anyone been by the house recently? I'm curious the state it is in right now. If I happen to be on that side of town this weekend I might make a detour.

If you swing by, please try to get a (legally taken, from public space) pic of the lower left window (with the air conditioner) to see if the pony is still in the lower left pane of it. This will make you princess of the planet.

 

[Hoodie]

I feel bad for anyone who ends up buying whatever the flipped version of 14BC not just because Chris will probably trespass, but the numerous weens who will do the same.

Also if Chris is allowed to get some of his toys, i bet it'll be funny because he may try to get everything and sperg out when he can't.

 

[Yksi_Toveri]

If you swing by, please try to get a (legally taken, from public space) pic of the lower left window (with the air conditioner) to see if the pony is still in the lower left pane of it. This will make you princess of the planet.

Since we know Barb is not there and seemingly not returning, I'm curious about any activity that can (legally) be observed. A dumpster on the lot for clearing the hoard, a pile of MLP and Funkos on the curb for trash pick up, Cole splashing gasoline over the place, whatever.

 

[Pickle Inspector]

hes reallys gonna go home isnt he?

He sure is! Back to his own private cell once he inevitably spergs out once he gets out and realises so much of his life has changed.

His increasing fixation on the "toxics" and violent rhetoric towards them is concerning. When he gets released and things don't follow the script he's written in his head, it could be that he may decide he no longer has anything to lose and feel the world around him is to blame for the sorry state of his life and either lash out violently towards someone he sees as a "toxic", or will try to convince someone to perform violence on his behalf, much like how he tried to get Null to hire professional hitmen for him in the past.

Yeah but thankfully when it comes to violence the most Chris can muster up is torturing Lego effigies of his imagined enemies, wishing really hard bad things will happen to them or at a push drawing bad things happening to the bad toxic individuals.

homeless saga is too predictable, definitely hoping for the pompeii saga tbqh

I’m not so sure, maybe technically homeless but he likes being comfortable and I bet now Chris is used to being incarcerated he‘d rather live in a private cell with all his meals prepared for him than be out in a cold car or in a shelter with brute male homeless people.

 

[Pointless Sperg]

I’m not so sure, maybe technically homeless but he likes being comfortable and I bet now Chris is used to being incarcerated he‘d rather live in a private cell with all his meals prepared for him than be out in a cold car or in a shelter with brute male homeless people.

Well, if he gets moved from the "Jail of Fail" to prison, he could probably get TV and Vidya, so maybe he would be happier that way, but I think he'd be too proud for that. Imagine Chris requesting the maximum 10 years in prison though just so he gets a stable living situation.