🗑️ Trashfire PPP: Pig's Passage to Portugal - Update 1/26 - Ralph got his ass kicked and murse stolen. Turns out, the citizens of Portugal are NOT big fans of the Killstream

[anionfarflung]

I've seen Ralph in public in real life. He's a loud obnoxious asshole. I'm betting with the crowd that says someone beat the shit out of him for running his mouth.

 

[Cucktry Roads]

I've been thinking hard about the whole fight and after a deep analysis, I'm starting to believe Ralph's recount of events.

I think the arab did a snatch and run and 3 of his buddies were waiting in an alley 20 feet away to see if someone was stupid enough to chase. Ralph chases and gets in a fight with them. The 4 men attack Ralph to no avail, splitting his brow, busting his lip, and scratching him yet he keeps fighting beyond the limit. It was then that one of the arab men lands a blow on Ralph's gunt, making the pig recoil in pain. They realized that his gunt is his only vulnerable spot, quickly ending the fight.

If they did what they did to his face, you can only imagine what his gunt looks like.

 

[Wine em Dine em 69 em]

If Ralph died in Portugal from this would they ship the gunted corpse back or throw him in the trash there?

Dump him in the Atlantic to create an artificial reef for vulnerable ecosystem rejuvenation.

 

[Tommy's Mom]

I'm starting to believe Ralph's recount of events.

When has Ralph's version of events ever been remotely close to what actually happened? And I'm just talking about the shit that we have video of. He thinks he won the fight at Digibro's house.

This is what really happened:

• Ralph met a 14-year-old hooker
• didn't want to pay extra for the hotel room and just decided to pull her into an alley
• hooker took one look at the bifurcated gunt and decided that it would be easier to just beat the shit out of him and take his money
• beats the shit out of him and takes his money. And manpurse.

 

[moocow]

If Ralph died in Portugal from this would they ship the gunted corpse back or throw him in the trash there?

Pffft like they're gonna waste that kind of primo fuel for the local power plant.

 

[AltisticRight]

Entered with the intention to laugh at Ralph.
Now I have a PhD in painkiller booze chemistry and spergery, with a certificate of autism.

 

[MeltyTW]

I've seen Ralph in public in real life. He's a loud obnoxious asshole. I'm betting with the crowd that says someone beat the shit out of him for running his mouth.

5 foot 1 ?

When has Ralph's version of events ever been remotely close to what actually happened? And I'm just talking about the shit that we have video of. He thinks he won the fight at Digibro's house.

This is what really happened:

• Ralph met a 14-year-old hooker
• didn't want to pay extra for the hotel room and just decided to pull her into an alley
• hooker took one look at the bifurcated gunt and decided that it would be easier to just beat the shit out of him and take his money
• beats the shit out of him and takes his money. And manpurse.

I'm thinking he got drunk and mistook a person taking their grade school kids outside as a brothel

 

[HunterHearstHelmsley]

Who wiped your butt with two broken collar bones? Sorry that happened to you, but I always ponder this question when people break both upper limbs. It's kind of a nightmare scenario to ponder for me.

Unfortunately my girlfriend.

Ten years ago that sounds about right. Surely in today’s day and age you could just buy a bidet.

 

[Tommy's Mom]

I'm thinking he got drunk and mistook a person taking their grade school kids outside as a brothel

 

[Chris Mclean]

In a dusty office in Swindon...

Don Sargin: We've known each other many years, but this is the first time you ever came to me for counsel or for help. I can't remember the last time that you invited me to a google hangout for small talk, even though your were part of the skeptics and Vee was a moderator in your chat. But let's be candid here. You never wanted my friendship. And uh, you were afraid to be in my debt.
Andy: I didn't want to get into t..t..t...rouble.
Don Sargin: I understand. You found e-fame in IBS, you had a good channel, you made a good living. Metokur protected you and there were debates. And you didn't need a friend like me. But uh, now you come to me and you say - 'Don Sargin, give me a justice.' But you don't ask with respect. You don't offer Locke. You don't even think to call me Stepfather. Instead, you come into my discord on the day my wifes daughter is to be married, and you ask me to uh retaliate against Ralph.
Andy: I ask for j... j..justice.
Don Sargin: That is not justice. Your sister still has CRP.
Andy: Let him get hoofed then, as she got. How much shall I ppppaypal you?
Don Sargin: Andy, Andy. What have I ever done to make you treat me so disrespectfully? If you'd come to me with indivudalism, then this collectivist scum that sullied your sister would be suffering this very day. And if by chance an retarded man like yourself should haters, then they would appear on my blocklist. And then they would fear you.
Andy: Be my ffff..friend... Stepfather. [Carl shrugs. Andy bows toward the Don and kisses the Don's hand]
Don Sargin: Good. Someday, and that day may never come, I'll skype you to do a favor for me. But until that day - accept this justice as a gift on my wife's daughter's wedding day.

 

[SaidNoOneEver]

https://youtube.com/watch?v=DbsMZecRgbI

Geez dude do you have any original material?

https://kiwifarms.pa/threads/ppp-pigs-passage-to-portugal.110727/page-168#post-11031698

 

[Autistic Joe]

It's crazy how one night of retardation can permanently alter your entire life. Ralph definitely has been putting in work for this result for years, but it does happen randomly. Definitely take this as a reminder that fucking with the wrong one, poor impulse control, waddling around like a tard with no regard for your surroundings, can all render you a vegetable in less than 5 minutes.

Well, just like Lowtax had his "sweaty toes" moment signalling the beginning of the end, this may be Ralph's. There's definitely some similarities between them, and I can see this eventually ending the same way.

 

[IFukYorMom]

fresh off the presses.

 

[SaidNoOneEver]

Been a while since a gunt proof of life. Did he stop breathing?

 

[PhoBingas]

If they did what they did to his face, you can only imagine what his gunt looks like.

If Ralph is still powering the booze into himself one good liver shot is all it'd take to put him on the ground and possibly in the hospital.

 

[murgatroid]

Well, a few things. First of all, Ethan fished Amanda “May” Morris right out of the bargain bin. Just like you can find certain items on sale in the store if they’re damaged, you can find a girl who is out of your league looks-wise if she’s damaged in some other way. In Ralph’s case, Pedopantsu is a promiscuous, unintelligent, untalented, lolicon-loving degenerate with aspirations for e-fame. In other words she’s fucked in the head. You can actually draw an inference about how fucked up her head is by her interest in Ralph. If she could actually do better, she would, but she can’t. After all, she was with Digibro right before Ralph. No respectable man would keep her around for a serious relationship, and she knows it.

Second, getting a wife really isn’t that hard (no offense to anyone struggling in this area). Women love getting married. The hard part is starting and raising a family. And what we’ll see, as time goes on, is that Pantsu will not “stand by her man,” because welfare is a preferable alternative to Ralph. Neither she nor Ralph are cut out for family life anyway. Most likely Pedopantsu’s parents will end up raising the demon baby.

So yeah, May is not really out of Ralph’s league.

Any human companionship with a woman is out of Ralph's league so I think he is inclined to take ANYTHING and EVERYTHING he can get.

May straight up looks like a man. It's weird how much digibro and her looked alike and I think that was perhaps early evidence of digibros latent homosexuality. In gay slang someone who dates or sleeps with someone who looks like themselves is called a doppelBanger. I think she's very unattractive and the whole internet anime pedo shit gimmick is to make herself seem interesting or novel to make up for how unattractive she is.

 

[Christorian X]

Well, just like Lowtax had his "sweaty toes" moment signalling the beginning of the end, this may be Ralph's. There's definitely some similarities between them, and I can see this eventually ending the same way.

There is a great deal of truth to this. While I'm not sure Ralph is the type to an hero, I certainly believe that we have hit a critical point in The Book if Gunt.

From what I see I believe we are in the Final Act. While this may last for a few months or maybe even get drawn out to a year or two, pretty much every event we see occur is going to be the result of some previous decision, event or lifestyle Ethan has already engaged upon. Up until now he's been building the machine that will undo him and now it is nearing completion or has been completed and he has hit the big red "Start" button.

To begin with, we have to consider the corner he has painted himself into. Every insult, angry tweet, outburst, threat, etc. has solidified his public persona. This will become incredibly important in a moment. He's devoted so much effort and time into defending everything he thinks and does, even insisting that his choices are admirable and to be praised. After so much time, he's created such a large handbook of exactly who he has to appear as and defend publicly, it's like handing robbers the blueprints to the bank. By reacting so aggressively and constantly, any and everyone knows every trigger, every shortcoming, every flaw and insecurity,. This has made him insanely vulnerable.

At this point he has built an entire ecosystem with him at the center of for people to constantly observe and criticize. Every time he chimps out at someone calling bullshit on something, he creates one more position he will always have to defend. It has gotten to the point now that it has become a full time job. It's why we see him so lifeless and broken looking. There is no joy, no fun, no hope anymore. He literally spends every day in a constant scramble to defend every vulnerability he's created for the world to see. This isn't living, its panicked survival.

Anyone who finds themself in this type of position whether they did it to themselves (he did) or not, and whether they deserve it (he does) or not, is going to become increasingly paranoid, stressed, aggressive and short sighted in their decisions. The level of stress an anxiety that builds will becoming worse and worse and require some way of management. This is when the booze and drugs go from having fun, enjoying the party, to simply keeping the nightmare stuffed down long enough to function.

Meanwhile, as all this is happening, we start seeing the results and fallout of the decisions which have been created by this persona he has created and continues to defend. Between the anger issues, the constant drinking, drugs, cheating, whoring, lashing out, gambling, manipulation, violence, etc., consequences have started to befall him more and more. Originally we would see repercussions for his choices occur maybe 1 - 3 times a year. Whether it was taking a swing at the cop, Miami, etc. While everyone knew he was going to fuck up, these incidents were more spaced out.

We are now seeing such a more regular and closely occurring series of events. Revenge porn cases, restraining order cases, dv cases, a car crash, a heart attack, an ass kicking, people he used to consider friends or underlings racing past him successfully in field he feels he defined, gambling debts, dealing with his brother (regardless of how self motivated this was, he still has to confront it). ALL of this happened less than three months. To add salt to all this, pretty much anyone he associated with in recent years have all gathered together and celebrated a literal Fuck You Festival in his honor that was blasted to the entire world and got better ratings than he did.

All of these things on their own are hilarious and great entertainment for sure, but consider for a second living in that reality. By no means would I change a thing that has happened to him, and I certainly pray for continued good harvests but imagine being Ethan Ralph. Waking up every day with the stress of multiple impending lawsuits coming at you, spending every day paranoid and feeling like you have to constantly defend your own existence, then going through a heart attack, a car crash, a massive ass kicking, dealing with your brothers estate ownership all while you watch you peers turn on you (his perspective) your income from your career dwindle, and the business you built fall apart.

Just imagine the level of stress, anxiety and misery of every moment as you pump yourself full of booze, and everything else so you can ignore it all until tomorrow.

The pressure just keeping mounting more and more, faster and faster as the L's are going to keep adding up more and more as the last few years of Ralph being Ralph catch up. As they stack on top of someone who's already being crushed by themselves while living in a massively damaged and sick body. It's the recipe for an epic finale.

Any change in who he is would mean having to admit he was wrong and the decisions he made were mistakes. He's built his bullshit so deep and solid that theres no moving any bricks without taking the whole house down.

At this point I'm sure many are wondering how all this will end? My guess? If May successfully has the baby and make an attempt at raising it in the home, it make finally be the last amount of stress/pressure to finally set off the bomb. Take everything mentioned previously and add an exhausted finance/wife who simply doesn't have the time/energy/emotional range to mange the baby and Ethan, the crying, screaming, parenting demands, etc as he spending every day already battling all the perceived attacks the world throws at him.

Ethan Ralph will inevitably snap. Make sure you keep the popcorn stocked.

 

[Pocket Dragoon]

I've been thinking hard about the whole fight and after a deep analysis, I'm starting to believe Ralph's recount of events.

Did he say anything about someone whistling? That's how they call for back-up.

I think the arab did a snatch and run and 3 of his buddies were waiting in an alley 20 feet away to see if someone was stupid enough to chase. Ralph chases and gets in a fight with them. The 4 men attack Ralph to no avail, splitting his brow, busting his lip, and scratching him yet he keeps fighting beyond the limit. It was then that one of the arab men lands a blow on Ralph's gunt, making the pig recoil in pain. They realized that his gunt is his only vulnerable spot, quickly ending the fight.

Except if he'd chased them into an alleyway & they ambushed him a second time, the pig would've gotten stuck. I'm actually amazed he didn't get stabbed. So it's more likely they noticed Ralph bellowing along behind & just waited for him to catch up, probably less than a block away.

They were probably more afraid of him being a fat wigger version of It Follows.

 

[Pee Cola]

If Ralph died in Portugal from this would they ship the gunted corpse back or throw him in the trash there?

Rolling the Gunt's corpse onto the beach and blowing it up sounds like a great idea in theory, but it may not end well.

 

[Justtocheck]

We are all here men of vices and ego to an extent, otherwise we wouldn't find Ralph as funny, just pathetic and sad. We are just better at hiding our nasty side in public and we do know it's shameful behaviour. Ralph, being so shameless and stupid and exhibitionist about what we might be deep down be is what's funny.

Also, please, everyone stop talking about hookers, drugs, your experiences on them and your addictions. I refuse to believe that the Farms is populated by anything other than good bois who never did nuffin.