LifeI recently had my genitals removed from my body, and I'm feeling less and less like a human being every day. Any advice on dealing with these emotions.
submitted 21 days ago by UselessAltThing
Hey. I'm a nineteen year old agender person. I recently had surgery that removed my vagina, leaving me with smooth skin. It was a lot like srs but without the addition of a penis.
I've really been enjoying my new body. It feels so good to just exist as a genitaless human being, I'm honestly more euphoric then I expected. It just feels like I'm finally me, like I'm finally perfect.
However, there's this weird feeling where I'm so separated from other humans. Like I often remember how alien my enjoyment of my body is how to humans are supposed to feel about their anatomy, how this would be an incredibly disturbing experience to your average human being.
I also present as very androgynous, to the point where the average person cannot tell my agab from seeing me, this is something that makes me feel happy but it also makes me feel less like a human.
There's some part of me that stills sees me as a girl, or wonders what things could have been like if I was a girl. It's weird to think about, and makes me feel like I've lost so much, even though I know it was never really my choice.
I just feel disconnected. I'm so different from how most humans are, and I just feel so alien, and so alone. I live in NYC so there are a lot of queer people around me, but it's rare to meet someone who is fully living as nullsex. I just feel like when I talk to most people they are very alien to me. It's weird to literally
Gender is such a big part of most peoples identities, and I straight up don't have it. It's not that I don't want to be agender or nullsex, it's just that I don't feel human because of it. My body isn't even like other pepples anymore. I feel like I'm just visiting this world.
On top of that I'm also neurodivergent, probably a lot more neurodivergent then I thought before. I've also been thinking a lot about physophy and politics, and I think I might be libertarian. Both of those things make my outlook on the world basically completely alien to almost everyone I'll meet.
I just feel so weird, and alone, and so different from everyone I meet. I don't even feel a connection with nature, outside of insects I feel closer to machines and robots then I do most plants and animals. I don't even feel like I'm part of biological life.
It also doesn't help that most cis allies I meet tend to have a "I am accepting of you but see you as very different from me, and I don't see you as a person and will treat you as someone very othered from me" view of enby and trans people.
God, I must sound so fucking pathetic.
Being allosexual is one of the only things I have in commen with most humans, so I guess I've been coping by doing allosexual things... turns out asking your gf to r*pe you when you're both half asleep isn't mentally healthy.
I've been reading Dune recently, I read it during surgery recovery, and then reread it again super recently (I was recovering like a month ago btw). I feel like that series has changed my putlook a lot. One big theme was that we're all essentially human beings, and I feel like that was somewhat comforting, especially with creatures like the navigators or face dancers still being considered humans.
Any advice on dealing with these feelings? Or just anyone realate?
and “MINORS DNI” just translates to “I’m not a pedo, I totally swear!” After scrolling through the never-ending penis sketches, I stopped when I was confronted with drawings he made of his character having sex with the yellow dog from Animal Crossing. So add being a furry to the list of his degenerate qualities.
Like you don't need estrogen or T blockers to not be a stinky greaseball. Let's keep handing out estrogen like candy to autistic manchildren who can't practice the most basic hygiene:
